a list of random words or phrases inputed into various search engines that send people to ye olde blog…

tips for reading poetry out loud
– to this date i think i can sum up it up in one phrase
“alcohol, liter upon liter of alcohol”

“woman-only policy”
-this comes from some of the reading i’ve been to where having a penis is a crime

STRIPPER STORIES
-these should start making a more regular appearance on this blog

Gemini 3rd June 2003
-a congruence of coincidence

Street Corner Prophets
-i remember hearing once about a street corner intellectual (which this may allude to) so for the record it could be anyone from the RISEN HAY.ZEUS to your random drunk asking you about a very small scar above your eye

poems blind dates
-is this anything like falling in love vis a vis the open mic?

poems about duct tape only
-wrong blog, dude. i would suggest headin to WATSON for more info

oda a la empanada
-a poem whose time has DEFINITELY come

how does a gemini feel after breakups
-anywhere from thrilled to be free from the chains to making some very sad noises on the phone

dating stripper
-is best done when you have discretionary funds

embarassing cane
-is what i want for my birthday. a nice gaudy one

“with a new girlfriend” breakup
-do i sense a them here?

blog poems that are not really poems
-HATAH IN DA HOUSE!

and my most favorite search to date involves inter.webbers going to the IMAGE section of their favorite search engine and getting this result

synonymUS @ the Nuyorican Poets Café
Poetry, Music, Movement, Image, Narrative – always an Open Mic
236 East Third St (bet Aves B & C)
F Train to 2nd Ave

Wed, April 20th @ 6:45 pm
Featuring, Las Gallas
Plus Feature Showcase, Elana Bell and Jai Chakrabarti
Open Form@ sign up 6:45pm
$7 Cover

Dancers, Musicians, Poets and Artists of all walks welcome. Bring your
own collab or work with US.

LAS GALLAS roam academic fields and enclaves
looking for kernels of truth to feed the occasional idea. They break
ground with brushes, pens, canvas, paper, film, feet and word. Their
search takes them around the world and to such
exotic destinations as Camden, Philadelphia and the Lower East Side.
LAS GALLAS lay eggs in the minds of their audience, and then embark
upon the question of which came first. LAS GALLAS is a
multi-disciplinary collective of Latinas using dance, art, poetry, and
whatever else they can get their hands on to communicate their
respective and collective messages to their audience. From SoulNation
at the Bluestockings Café to the
Acentos Bronx Poetry Showcase to the Painted Bride in their home base
in Philadelphia, LAS GALLAS consistently present fresh, innovative
collaborations tailor made to the performance space they are
inhabiting. Come to the next synonymUS to find out
what new theme they will bring to the Nuyorican stage!

ELANA BELL and JAI CHAKRABARTI come together to present a conversation
in poetry and sound exploring themes of sex, love, family, and bugs
(yes bugs) through the lens of their interracial,bi-cultural
relationship (with a cherry on top)!

Elana Bell, a graduate of Sarah Lawrence College, was selected as the
winner of the 2004 Stephen Dunn PoetryAward. She is the
writer-in-residence for the Bronx Academy of
Letters, a New Visions High School. Amember of the louderARTS Project,
Elana has been a featured poet at Bar 13, Hunter College, Teachers and
Writers Collaborative, The Bowery Poetry Club, The WowCafé Theater,
Cornelia Street Café, and the Blue OxBar. She is a founder of
synonymUS. Recently, Elana appeared in the off- Broadway production of
Downtown Rhythm at the Primary Stages Theater. Publications include:
Words and Images Magazine (April 2004),Houston Poetry Festival Journal
(2001), Poetz.com(online) and two chapbooks: Dreaming of Doorways and
Name Carvings.

Jai Chakrabarti is a writer of poetry, fiction, and mathematical
algorithms. Born in Calcutta, India, his work has been published in
Barrow Street, Symposium, Rattapallax, as well as The Statesman and
Festival (from India). He lives in NYC and is a contributor to the
louderARTS reading series, where he was a 2004 Poetry Slam Finalist.

synonymUS @ the Nuyorican Poets Café
Music, Movement, Image, Narrative – always an Open Mic
Every 3rd Wednesdays @ 6:45 pm
236 East Third St (bet Aves B & C)
F Train to 2nd Ave
$7 Cover
:: http://www.louderarts.com/synonymus/
:: synonymus@louderarts.com

Hosting is work, y’all. Not actual physical labor but it can come close; there’s been more than one event where I was running around like a madman making sure shit was in place. In my case, you can include mental labor into the equation as what may seem like a random call of names from a sheet is actually me trying to mix together the style and aesthetic of the readers that I do now with the unexpected surprise of the next reader that I don’t know all in the hopes that the night has enough highs and lows, softs and roughs to keep it a roller coaster ride.

I can tell you that I have come to a couple of reading feeling like utter shit. I had to make the final decision about closing the business about an hour before an Acentos show and had one of the best Tuesdays ever. Inside, I was a total mess but as far as anybody else knew, I was just your typical gregarious, amiable host. On the flip side, I have walked into the Ox swearing that it was going to be an amazing evening of poetry, feeling confident and determined only to see my hosting go flat and struggle to keep the energy of the Open Mic up. That’s why its work, cuz whether I am hyped or depressed, I still go in and try to get the job done.

Last night did not feel like work, it felt like if somebody had just handed me the reigns at the last minute and said, “Go at it!” I came into the Ox with an even temperament, having had a productive day at my 9to5 and no extra personal drama following me in. The start was rough, there was a group of (I guess) regulars who tried to give the poetry a shot but instead decided that there own voices were more important. These mofos talked up a storm while I was doing the opening monologue. I always claim this doesn’t bother me but it actually does. It’s a give and take thing where I would just love if everybody stayed silent throughout all the announcements and such but people have to talk some time and better they do it while I am up there than the poet. So we have a rocky start and I am thinking its going to be one of those nights where I feel like I am doing a crappy job but everybody else thinks shit went well and then, damn if I know when, there was a shift and I just started flying up there, saying dumb shit to get laughs, good intros, nice outros, keeping the attention on the mic and cursing, lots and lots of cursing. My early hosting revolved around saying ‘muhfuckah’ about 5 times every time I went to intro someone. It was a nervous tick. Some stick their hands in their pockets, others clutch on the mic stand as if it were a life preserver, a few do one of their own poems again to recalibrate. I curse. Not as innocuous as the mic grabbing but not as egotistical as the impromptu feature status, tu sabes?

Last night I got into such a roll that the cursing came back up and I loved it. There is no substitute for ‘clap, mufuckahs’ not for me, anyhow.

The Open Mic had 14 folks on it- 3 newbies, 2 occasional visitors, 2 semi-regulars and then 7 of the usual suspects. This ratio is an improvement over what we’ve been doing lately – heavy on the usual suspects – but I would love to see more newbies sign up but for the post.anniversary show this was a damn fine turn out.

Proletariat Bronze was the real deal. Jaylee, Jayson, and Mesej1 remind me of an old school crew from the dizzay. You could call em a gang based on the fact that if you fuck with one of them, you gonna hear it from all of them but I guess it would be better stated that they are brothers of choice. Their set was just as much fun as the rest of the night with the fellas goin up there and doin what the energy of the moment dictated.

So where’s the food, mufuckah? Good question, this time around we went low.tech and headed to White Castle to tax our digestive systems and get a lil ghetto with Proletariat since they are the kind of crew you could bring to a five star restaurant, a chill lounge, a coffeehouse or, yep, White Castle. Fun times.

Year three is off to a sweet start where it feels like all this isn’t work at all.

Live from El Mudo Cesar’s porch comes this news…

OSCAR BERMEO TO FEATURE AT


SATURDAY, APRIL 16th AT 10:00pm
$12 Cover ($10 with Flyer)

in other chinche, last night was the martin espada workshop. it was not cheap but it was worth every penny. the man came through with a simple game plan that ended up producing three new poems out of me. all of which look like they may survive with a lil bit of editing and proper critique from my crack team (that line was lazy/repetitive/poor word choice/if this was the last poem you ever spoke, would you want THAT to be your end line). the power of the workshop, for me, had more to do with gaining some respect from martin than anything else. over the last four years, i have met quite the motley crue of poetry folk and – for the most part – i have been able to approach them all as the normal oxygen breathing humans they are. the one major exception, martin. every time i tried to conversate with him it seemed to always end in disaster. last night put an end to that.

we had a four hour writing workshop that seemed shorter than most reality shows. we started with formal intros and acentos got the FAT shout out. huzzah! from there we got to the meat of the matter, did our hard poetic work and then you know whats next- the afterparty.chowdown! this one was at one of k-town’s many 24 hour spots. mad food, mad laughs and the worlds best non.heterosexual.poetic.blowjob joke (DING! the inside joke bell) then off to the nuyo open room (we were VERY fuckin close to gettin martin to hit the open with us, maybe next time) this was a hella fun open room were i got to drop one of the new poems that came from the workshop-
HOSTING 101
or
ELEGY FOR A CARPET MICER
or
SORRY, WE CAN'T LET YOU DO FIVE POEMS ON THE OPEN MIC

hatah in da house! in fact, EVERYONE dropped the new hotness on the open- rich, ed, sofia and omar. so what to do after a rip roaring wild time at the nuyo? enter “son.of.afterparty.chowdown”! we dipped to ed & jeanies where we had homemade pupusas, peanut butter ice cream pir, fresh coffee, chocolate biscotti and venison! (i’m joking about the venison) we cracked up – REAL HARD – till the sun came up and thats when i realize that i am AGAIN on 24 hours straight and the best est part- i have to be at work in 90 minutes. so here i am, tyoing away like mad, cuz one day, a few years from now, i will read this shit and laugh and cry (DING!) over the fun that is harder to shake than a wolverine nippin at yo heels (DING!)

off to PIANOS fro jane lecroy and then PEOPLES LOUNGE for anietra and then (who knows?) i may even get some sleep

signing off from el rincon sin sueno, this is your local BNN correspondent

profe, back to you at amiri baraka’s basement (DING!)

the way i’ve been goin lately, not posting for a few days feels funny

especially when i have mega shit to talk about

jack mccarthy & roger in uppah westchester was off da hook. mccarthy is clearly the obiwan kenobi of poetry. roger represented to the fullest. the diner afterparty was just as much fun if not more so.

saturday, i am livin on three hours of sleep wakin up at 8 to head to the plantation. full day with only a ten minute break. then off to hostos to catch a reading from nuyor/ricans that came on the scene in the 90s. which freezes out fish, rich and jess as well as ignoring a nice list of others (guy pops out right from the top of my dome which is extra fucked up since he featured most of the readers at a lil bit louder) the reading was the perfect drink for the hatah in yo life

AN UNMODEST LISTENER
1/3 poets whose work you admire & respect
1/3 writers whose work you are first being introduced to
1/3 orators that have left you unfazed to this point
blend in tall glass with some ice to cool yo heels
a sprig of mint to freshen the air
shake vigorously with your applause hands
top with a splash of red.bull to keep ya from sleepin

afterwards, i was off to raj’s birthday bash. no sleep on the train as i got into some good convo with somebody from the reading. partied at raj’s with the usual suspects till (after setting the clock forward) 5 am. got home at 7. some qucik math says i have been in full effect for 23 hours! huzzah, the poet life.

still managed to get up in time to get eric a present for his birthday, show up on time(!) and have a great birthday fiesta then caught SIN CITY with fish. i have a review in me, i just cant get to it now but it is a movie that should be seen in the theatres so RUN DONT WALK!(ring the inside joke bell). i also cant go into how the YANKS spanked some sox nation ass but i will tell ya that i was plenty happy. “today i consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the planet…” (DING!)

monday was the anniversary fiesta. as opposed to the acentos bash, i got to actaully listent to some poetry which made it a lil better in my eyes (but acentos still has the best dancers in poetry- fo realz!) i had the unenviable task of following up hal siroitz but proved to the task or so they tell me, well, actually, hal himself said he enjoyed my work so thats good enough.

tuesday, i act like a poetry fiend and convince the crew to head out to the yerbabuena band’s reading at el maestro and like a good addict, i hit rock bottom. yes, the shit started mad late. yes, we had a CORE audience of about 3. yes, there was no structure to the reading. yes, everyone was drinking pretty good for a tuesday all night. and, YES, i bombed. and, yes, fuck all those other excuses cuz flaco navaja tore down the house and he went on even later than me. i pulled a MARIANO and went from being a game six hero on moday to blowin the series on tuesday. however, a girl wrote me the best poem ever and “thats gangstah” (DING!) and then i had some WHITE CASTLE in the parking lot with rich and fish aka un.earth day

today sees me a bit frustrated with an entirely different aspect of my life but this too shall pass

off to more readings and speakin of which i just dropped the massive listing of shit comin up in the city on my e-list so hear ya go

love ya like tino on first

Wednesday, April 6th @ 7:30pm
First Wednesdays featuring Poet Tania Rochelle
Downtown Bronx Cafe – 141 E 149th Street
Reading begins at 7:30pm, followed by an open mic.
#2, 4 or 5 Train to 149th St/Grand Concourse
FREE!
Sponsored by the Bronx Writers’ Center
For more info, call 718 409 1265
http://www.bronxarts.org/gp_bwc.asp
http://www.downtownbroxbarandcafe.com/

Friday, April 8th @ 5:30pm
Master Class in Poetry with Martín Espada
Cosponsored by Acentos
$175 general, $150 Members
The Asian American Writers’ Workshop
16 West 32nd Street, Suite 10A
For more info, call 212.494.0061 or desk@aaww.org
http://www.aaww.org/

Friday, April 8th @ 7:30pm
Pepatian 5th Annual Jump It Up: Bronx Artist Spotlight
2005
featuring Lydia Cortes, Arlene Chico-Lugo, High
Priestess from El Grito de Poetas, Desi Moreno-Penson,
Victoria Sammartino and Simply Rob
Pregones Theater La Casa Blanca
571 Walton Avenue, between 149th and 150th
#2, 4 or 5 Train to 149th St/Grand Concourse
$10 Cover
http://www.pregones.org/
http://www.pepatian.org/

Friday, April 8th @ 10:00pm
Friday Night Slam @ the Nuyorican Poet’s Cafe
236 East 3rd Street (between Aves B & C)
Slam Hosted by Karen Jaime
Open Room Hosted by Rich Villar
$5 Cover
http://www.nuyorican.org

Saturday, April 9th @ 8:00pm
TRANSMITTING with Jane LeCroy & Tom Abbs
special guest beat-boxer Kid Lucky
Pianos – 158 Ludlow at Stanton
F or V to 2nd Ave/Houston St
FREE!
http://www.pianosnyc.com/

Sunday, April 10th @ 3:00pm
louderWORKSHOP -From Atmosphere to Inspiration: Using
other media to enrich poetry with facilitator Mara
Jebsen
For more info, workshops@louderarts.com
http://www.louderarts.com/workshop/

Sunday, April 10th @ 6:00pm
Spoken Word with Nuyorican Poet- Anthony Morales
Arka Lounge – 4488 Broadway @ 192nd Street
#1/9 Train to 191st Street
$5 Cover
http://www.undercoverent.com/home.htm

Monday, April 11th @ 7:00 pm
louderMONDAYS – 13 Bar Lounge – 35 East 13th Street
… Fish Vargas, Samantha Thornhill, T’ai Freedom
Ford, Lynne Procope and Elana Bell compete in
Semi-final Slam #1! And don’t miss a fabulous
mini-feature by Sarah Hannah
Limited Open Mic sign up @ 7pm
$5 cover ($4-students), 2-for-1 drinks
http://www.louderARTS.com/

TUESDAY, APRIL 12th @ 7:00pm
Acentos – Blue Ox Bar – Corner of Third Ave & East 139
Street
The Uptown’s Best Open Mic & feature Jaylee Alde
… JAYLEE ALDE is a member of the Pinoy Spoken Word
collective Proletariat Bronze based in Oakland, CA.
His confessional style, a tangle of intricate writing
and intense delivery, placed him 2nd in the nation at
the 2004 National Poetry Slam. When he’s not writing,
he’s thinking about it.
Hosted by Oscar Bermeo
FREE! ($5 Suggested Donation)
http://www.louderarts.com/acentos