while sayin ‘i love you’ may be the ultimate

sayin ‘i trust you’ requires a hell of a lot more

reflecting on this with raymond daniel-

“sure, dude, love is an instinct

trust must be learned”

or sumthin like that (ray said it a whole lot bettah)

last night at 13, i was exhausted. it had nothin to do wit the show, its just that emotional unbeardening will do dat to ya

i never realized how much of my life is just the canvas of a painting and the rest is the scenes i’ve left behind

(on a semi-related note: i spent sunday morning in the park, collecting leaves in a jouranl while writing and sketching nature shots. people were kind of impressed with the sketches, i may have a new hobby)

love ya like if ya listened without prejudice

the cool moment is always rare and too far in between. they are usually marred by saying too much or getting caught with your tongue in a mousetrap. mah favorite cool moments are the ones in ‘Law & Order’ where (usually) the perp says something and then the cops shut ’em up with a flippantr remark or (later in the show) when the smug defendant mouths off to the DA.

here is my cool moment from last night-

ob- do you know where the auditions are?

security- over by that desk.

ob- thanks

sec- hold up, a sec

ob- yeah?

sec- can you tell me what the audition is for?

(ob thinks- nikkah, you work here… why dont you tell ME?)

ob- its for a poetry workshop and performance

sec- oh, ok

ob- yeah

sec- wait up, is it true its for a nude performance?

ob- dude, trust me, you do NOT want to see me naked

and i walk through… money looked quite puzzled, as was i… later on his partner explains that he was fukin wit em and that it was a joke… okey dokey then

and for the curious- i think i bombed the audition but so goes the way of the coin or sumthin

love ya like if i would use a doll and thread mahself for ya in the name of performance art

and tata.is.feature-spotlight

In conjunction with Wanda Ortiz’s installation of Mercury/Mercurio

a reading with be held at the Hostos Art Gallery

featuring Guy LeCharles Gonzalez and Jessica Torres

Wednesday, November 3 @ 6pm

Hostos Community College- E 149th St & Grand Concourse, Bronx

(Take the 2,4,5 Trains to E 149th St Station)

and afterwards

First Wednesdays @ The Blue Ox Bar

Regie Cabico + open mic

man- guy & tata…. wanda’s art… then regie at the ox… mah soul, as the kids say, is QUENCHED!

*guy is SO gonna kill me!

fockers! ya let the rain stop ya!

its cool. a long time ago, i stopped counting when it comes to people who do or dont show up to my stuff.

bottom line- “intimate crowd”… 45 minute performance (was supposed to be 15 but hey thats what havin a repertoire is all about)… martin espada cover… eliel came through and rocked four pieces (thanks, grande!)… rich came through as well (but we didnt have to kill any more time by that point)… crowd bumps up to “friendly space”… michele was beautiful… four love poems- all about the same girl- go figure… car crash right outside the spot- makes for nice fireworks… bruckner grill rocks

love ya like if i walked through a flood for ya

dont let the rain stop ya- come out tonight and hit up the bronx museum of the arts… its a real chill spot and we are going to do the reading by the windows that look out to the concourse… kinda like acentos but more quiet (and with AC)

the yankees are thinking they are the mets and are trying to make this penant race close… know why steinbrenner isnt sayin anything- cuz his shit sells tickets!… few weeks back the end yanks vs sox games would have been a nice chance to boo pedro and the boys… now its serious

starting to get a lil nervous about this hosting gig… its easier when i am doin shit in my own house (acentos) but when you go into someone else’s space its almost like house sitting… some advance hosting tips (courtesy of my early synonymUS gigs and the movie “a civil action”): never ask a question you dont already know the answer to

michele called me a bit ago and we nailed down some last minute specs… she is so gonna rock… i love the chance to let other people do their stuff

i finally got a chance to check out Camarades up in el barrio… the place is damn nice… good looking menu, too… also got to check out Jake’s as well… lets see: three years ago- NO latino mics in new york- now, three spots are happening in harlem… not sayin’, just sayin’

i havent gotten to that point in reviewing my recent gigs but just let me say that eliel rocked out in his uppercase feature… new work, old work, a lot of energy but effectively used in the right spots… i cant wait to see what is the next surprise that he pulls from his sleeve

i bought a fitness mag the other day… somebody that is sporting a god damn vw bug under their shirt comes up to me and comments on my gut… the last time this happened (in front of my ol’ roommates- mike & tom)… i went on a three week “bagel for breakfast, soup for lunch and no dinner” diet and upped my cardio at the gym… it was enough to do the trick… this time around- ima have to resort to some black coffee and crunches… lets see what happens

i thought i was finally gonna get a good night of sleep last night but it wasnt meant to be… my average is from 2am to 7am and sometimes not even that much…

synonymus is next week… you know why these shows always do well?… cuz ray medina busts his ass to make it that way… i am honored to host this suckah but mostly cuz i know it means ray trusts me with his baby… there have been three open jams for people to work their stuff and ray has been laying down new beats for mara & matt… the lil series that could is still makin it happen y’all

love ya like if ya called me while walking through campus…