just got back from my sister’s wedding

the day couldnt be any better especially when you consider the fact that i am wearing a vest and tux. the family was all kinds of late (its genetic!) and the friday rush hour traffic didnt help matters. all good in the end as we got to mah sisters new crib (in fishkill- shes gated, son!) to get in round one of pictures then made it to the church in plenty of time.

it was great being part of a big event and not worrying about the details. put it to ya like this- even if i am just reading one piece as part of a larger showcase- i still freak out over undotted Is and Ts left with no crosses- the shit has started to give me some headaches lately as well. so here i am casually helping and greeting when all of a sudden- PLACES! its time to do my duty, walk mah new bro’s mom down the aisle…

the ceremony was beautiful and it was just so hella interesting seeing all the symbolism in the church and the metaphors flying in the three readings that were chosen (the bible, as a piece of mythological literature, rocks) seeing the priest twist it all around and bring EVERYTHING back to the church had me crackin up inside. i skipped on communion which is kinda big since normally i would be down for a big event but this time around it felt really awkward and that, in the end, is a good thing.

GULLY ALERT- why was mah whole fam freakin’ this week when word came down that mah new bro’s ex (who wanted to get married in the SAME church) was gonna come down with a posse and wreck sheet? answer: cuz they love any chance to get into some drama. the posse showed up but only to view the ceremony since that are still sorta friends with mah in-laws. in the end nothing happened but the priest(!) still called the local constable to make sure it remained copasetic. way to go, padre!

the reception was cool. nice mix of music to satisfy the ecuas and the upstaters (mah sis is marrying into a very caucasian family) with the biggest surprise being mah 9 yr old niece rockin all the moves. lawd, she is going to be a handful soon enough.

i am so happy that mah sis has found her media mitad (other half) and that she has a new life to work on. as for me, normally i get very self-conscious at these events and try to duck most of mah fam since they all say the same sheet- “when are you next?” same question crept up but i was cool being single and with no immediate hope of marriage. soy ridiculo/pero estoy comodo en me forma de ridiculo

though when they played CRUSH from the dave matthews band (mah sis is the HUGEST dmb fan and all the tables had dmb lyrics and names on them) the way back machine hit and i was back in a studio apartment with a voice calling me from the kitchen for dinner and that is a place that i am never getting back to so it always fucks me up that i can hear J’s voice clearer than my own common sense… but the moment passed as mah sis had her last dance.

all the best to her on this part of her journey…

Since I got into poetry, I have been going to Nationals. Being that I was following most of the exploits of the slam poets through the internet, the thought of going to this festival that spawned it’s fair share of joy & heartache seemed like a dream. (note- at this point i have NOT seen the film ‘Slam Nation’)

The scene is Minneapolis, 2002. The Team is Bassey, Bonafide, Lynne & Marty with Rachelle Street as alternate and Eric as coach/slammaster. Almost at the last minute Seve, Sabrina and I rent a car to rock the 20 hour drive to get to the heartland. Sabrina does not drive, leaving me and Sev to trade on and off as we rip through the flats of Ohio and Illinois. Long story short, we had a blast! Minny was a dream. All the venues were walking distance from the hotel and most of the eight were only four blocks from each other. Indy-semis was held in a spot that looked a lot like Webster Hall and was packed to the gills with Finals in a great old space that (again) was walking distance from the main hotel. As for the hotel, it was pretty cool not that expensive for three splitting a room (which was really two since Sabrina stayed with the ladies) and they put up with poets making 3am fusses really well as in they gave us enough warnings to chill and keep it under wraps for a few days. All in all, my first Nats was the bomb and I got to sac goat at an amazing bout (San Fran vs Boston|Lizard Lounge vs Chicago|Green Mill vs LA|Green) amongst other things. I guess the best part was that Seve helped show me how to be in the mix and then disappear when the moment called for it.

Last year, I didn’t have that luxury. As slammaster, I HAD to be at a lot of places and mixing into the shadows was not allowed. Still the good times flowed more due to the fact that about nine people made the trip along with the team and it was more fun to chill with them than the team. The day events were the bomb and I was able to meet some new folks including our very own Lovella! Yeah, Nats let me meet this incredible spirit who was only their ‘cause she had heard that there were poets-a-plenty to be seen. This, I thought, was what Nats was all about that.

Well, add the fact that the pressure of competition brings the real essence of people out. If you are gracious and true it will show in how you win or lose. Ditto if at the core of this all you want is some cheap pops. This feeling can not be duplicated at an Open reading, in my observations, nor can it be duplicated at a feature where you (as the poet) have the task of setting the mood and the tenor of the evening. Slam takes that part over and as the circus of the arena intensifies the gladiator comes out and is there for all the masses to give the thumbs up/down but yet still the warrior decides how he will react in the middle of this chaos…

This has led me to be a serious advocate for Slam amongst newer poets. I have been able to talk a few folks that thought they would never Slam into doing it and the secret is simple- I really believe it will set off a trigger in them and I honestly don’t care what direction that trigger takes them. If it tells them NEVER to Slam again- cool. If it tells them that they were born to Slam- cool. I just always wanted to give everybody that goes on stage the chance to find out for themselves rather than read about it on a blog and make points based on that.

Back to Nats, I was under the impression that Nats was the ultimate arena where the lions didn’t get any bigger, the crowd any more blood thirsty and the emperor having the least clothes. Various internet reports (and some live calls) are telling me that the emperor has been playing the fiddle while it all burns. If it has gotten as bad as I am hearing with bouts being total messes, volunteer efforts disorganized, day events clashing amongst other things then it may well be time to pull out and seek alternatives (Taos poetry circus?) or to just make a new reality happen.

I still have hope the next few Nationals will be much better run (Danny Solis holding it down in ‘Burque for 2005 & Phil West/Mike Henry kickin’ ash in Austin for ’06) but who knows after that?

The writing on the wall has been there for a while before me and during my time I have seen PSi back down from making tough choices time and time again allowing the dictates of a very vocal minority to drown out common business sense.

PSi should bring back 4×4, tap off the team limits at 64 and decide that they are trying to determine who are the best Slam poets in the country OR say we are just hear for fun- focus on day events, workshops, guest speakers, celebrity slammers and (oh yeah) a Slam competition to cap it all off.

If not, then I really don’t see myself encouraging others to participate in this mix.

had a ton of fun at yesterday’s reading at the blue ox

the ox was hella packed with (listen close folks) air conditioning and the pool table nicely tucked away in a corner (that’s right, y’all!)

leslie was kind enough to let mah late ass (what else is new?) read on the 1st half of the open mic and give guy some words from the heart. i do NOT like to get emotional which is one of the obstacles i will have to over come if i ever want to get to any deeper truth in my work but for guy, i can get a lil sentimental.

after the words of thanks i get ready to drop my latest piece (“Urban Air Guitar”) when who should walk into the blue ox but ‘ceviche woman’ now, let’s flashback to me finally finding my poet voice thanks to this poem, this woman coming to 13 and guy letting me get down on the hella crowded ‘lil bit louder’ open mic even though i was over half an hour late. so, with no warning (i didnt have guy’s numbers and wasnt comfortable enough yet to email somebody to leave some room for me on the mic) guy not only lets me get on the mic but also lets me go on last since ‘ceviche woman’ was also running late. point of the story, without guy the ‘ceviche’ poem may never have been

and thats why i gave a reading that had my voice shaking in mad moments and its the greatest feeling in the world to say the love poem of your life to the woman who still makes it all right even though the natural laws of the universe say all that can happen now is an extra tight hug and maybe a shoulder rub

i am often asked why it didnt work or why it still cant work but the bottom line is that we have had to find love when it was there and not wait for the magic moment to suddenly happen. as such, she is in love with someone else and they have a great life together and while he has never been my most favorite person in the world, she is my best friend and i wouldnt fuck up her happiness just beacuse i am feeling lonely or having second thoughts about my choices. i love her and if that means letting her go- then i’ll catch up with her in the next life which is somehting i say a lot but only because i really feel that this is one of those people that i will keep meeting up with in some way shape or form whether i am in corporeal or astral form

making a soft right, guy did his feature crazy justice and if it is his last feature, then it was a good way to go out. when he got to his last poem, i knew that there was only one way to go out and sure enough he dropped “Breathless” and its last line will echo for a good time in peoples head cuz i sensed a slowness towards the end that said “yeah, this be the last time, i am comortable with it” it was kinda sad ‘cept for the fact that it wasnt. ya know?

on a total left turn, nats is going on and you can find scores for night one here. (louder, urbana and nuyo all won their match ups which bodes well for all) and you can get up to the date random fun from a non-competitor who may come back with great stories and having the time of his poetic life here. and you can find one of the most honest and hardest working voices on the national slam scene talking about how this years nats may be just be the biggest cluster-ef here.

and you can find me getting on stage tonight at 8pm and droppin the baddest ass rendition of Sorta-Rican here

and you can paint me into a corner cuz i am outa here.

*with apologies to jai chakrabarti

word is getting to me that today’s poetry event at the blue ox bar has made its way into one of new york’s free newspapers- metro

if anybody picks up a copy, let me know what it says…

in other news, rich gave me a call last night to let me know that the team got to st louis ok and that the name of el rev, pedro pietri, is being highly marketed but not necessarily well praised (i’ll let el profe talk more about that)

see y’all later at the ox (unless you are supporting ray, scot williams, raj and diat down at the BPC)

like a kid staring at a ferris wheel– i be o.b.

so hella busy…

by this time next week-

i will have been a member of my sister’s wedding party

i will miss my first nationals

i will have performed at

a) the JP Morgan Chase Latino Cultural Festival

b) the Audobon Street Festival in Washington Heights

c) the Nuyo for an anti RNC reading

thats on the DEFINITE list

on the fun list

i will have read at 1st Wednesdays featuring Guy

i will have caught a dance performance before the Audobon gig

on the review tip

TEAM ACENTOS kicked some major ass in all the venues. MC’s analysis is pretty on the money in that the team’s confidence did grow more and more each and every time they went up there. everybody got to rock out in at least two of the venues. the team went through quite a bit of practice and they came through it like troopers. (the MOST fun of the practices was the night that we got to take over Carlitos Cafe, literally! the owner had to leave and was planning on closing the spot at 8pm (which is when we arrived) and juan calls up jess “the spot is closed” OH HELL NO! with just a smile and a handshake, the owner let us keep the place open till 11pm and we ran the door, mic, sound system, bar and cash register till we closed up. while this may seem weird to some- shit like this happens to me all the time- word!)

i love the team to death and it just adds fuel to my fire that slam is an awesome tool to help poets locate their voice. note the word ‘tool’ as in it is a means and not an ends. ’nuff said.

my totally.not.into.poetry.homeboy asks, “are you disappointed not going to nationals” nope, not at all. while i loves mah peoples on the team, i know that as long as they are in the hunt there is no serious time to bug out and i hate being a fly in the wall for team practices, ‘specially the ones right before a bout. thats TEAM time and i know that i aint on the team. if asked i would do it but i aint inviting mahself- just aint mah way.

the more difficult challenge for me will involve my sister’s wedding which i am happy to be a part of but me and my sis still have HUGE communication problems but that is old news for those that know. i will behave to the fullest and there may be some sacrifice involved in that there may be a gate crasher to my sisters greatest day. if that sheet should go down, ima be the ass and take one for the team. my dad tried to say he would but his ass is REALLY old and then who would dance with my sis? same with e and k, cant let them get caught up in silliness. of course, i dont think that the gate crash is gonna happen but if it does… i’ll just do what the moment calls for.

i need a hobby and fast! luckily, i just won some arts lessons from a friend so who knows, maybe i will turn out to be good at that… gotta go and help a friend…

more stuff latah (for realz)