Category Archives: Uncategorized

i have graduated from the full cane walk to the neo pimp limp. i am just happy that i don;t have to make people take baby steps when they are walking with me. that shit is mad embarassing.

the peeps are back from dodge and i am glad that they all had a good time. in retrospect, its a good thing my job kept me away. the gout hit me two years back with some medium swelling of my big toe and the hilly areas were a bitch to trek throug. this year’s new location for dodge, duke farms, was even bigger than their old locale so i could just imagine taking 30 minutes to get aroubd to see one person speak. uggghhh.

everyone has some new form of inspiration and here i am with no muse at the moment. guess ima have to make one appear… and quick!

through it all, i am quite a lucky fellow in that there was quite a nice number of people that were calling me through the weekend seeing how i was feeling and the like. that means the world, y’all. i broke up with someone over the fact that i was all hobbled up and they didnt come visit me. it was one of those “hey, if you dont reach out, how is anyone supposed to reach back?” moments that ended up leaving me more cynical than when i began.

i have a new good luck charm! a jade elephant. this suckah brings back memories. my mom considered them good luck making the apartment look like a safari retreat. there would be elephants of various materials and a myriad of sizes all over the living room and we were under a direct order that the elephants were more important than the lives of two little mischievous kids. hence, if an elephant got damaged, our asses were forfeit. (of course, i ended up getting a couple of beat downs)

i am realizing how little i am actually saying in these posts. there are storms of bonchiche and drama all around me but i am great at keeping a secret (especially if it concerns me) and dont see how any good can come out of dropping a lil secret here or throwing out a random comment there. there is a mad thirst for this shit out there- people want to get inside other peoples lives real fuckin bad but the compulsive in me doesn tstop at just getting the news, i got to find out more. thats when you start getting to the ugly of it. how people are really hurting and how this exterior drama aint shit compared to what goes through their heads before they go to sleep- if they even can go to sleep. you also start finding out that other people have REAL problems that is much deeper than any idle gossip could hope to be.

everybody wants to be the martyr, nobody wants to be the victim. me, i’m just a storyteller. “let him pass, he’s a dreamer”

There may be nothing more self-indulgent than writing an artist statement. Lynne wanted one a few months back and I could not do it.

“My work tries to heal the sick and walk on water.”

“In my poems, I try to get laid as often as possible.”

“Oscar hopes that you really love his poems or else…”

I mean, for real, what the F yo!

Pain is still mah new running buddy but (to quote the poet) ‘we makin’ prohgress’ A new Ace bandage has me at least limping fairly well. I have taken more hot baths in the last week than Cleopatra. I wrote a fairly honest and deep entry last night on Eliel’s Sidekick Ver. 2.0(!) and tried to post it up. It didn’t make it.

The universe says I should remain distant and impersonal on the Blog. Who am I to disagree?

The Acentos crew has another gig this Tuesday. Ima try a different set than Normal in that I am going to switch around the order of the poems and see what happens. I may also throw in Capicu as well. We shall see.

In memorizing Espada’s poems I have realized that I could not write that poem until I have been really struggling for the longest time. It’s a poem from the voice of a soldier that has seen too much but still goes on. I have not seen enough.

I am enjoying how things are falling into place. Three years ago, I thought I had an outside chance to make a Slam team. Then I believed I was ready for uppercase before I really was. Ditto for some feature opportunities. There is a memorable bomb that happened at Swift Bar. Mah boy Tom, who rarely goes to readings, came along with me to this one. When it was over he looked over at me and stumbled on his first four words. “I know. It sucked.” Things are getting into better focus now. Three years and I feel like I can hold my own. Three years from now, Ima look at this entry and laugh.

During a game of Truth or Dare last week I posed the question- What would you say to “the one that got away” if you were to see them again?

Eventually the question was thrown back to me.

“Was it worth it going back to your husband?”

I have a new poem about the other affair that I had. I like it a lot.

Perhaps I’m starting on my introspective phase… Perhaps not.

i am in some serious pain right now. the gout has been ripping me
apart this weekend. it started up right before the normal gig but i
had it under control. in fact, leaving normal my ankle (where the
gout decided to visit this time around) was almost 100% and then i
don’t know what the F happened on saturday night but whatever it was-
it sent my ankle straight to hell. it was co bad that it took me 10
minutes to walk from Ave D and 3rd St to get to the Nuyo for Algarin’s
BDay Bash (which was cool but i always get pissed when 3/4 of the room
has NO idea who Algarin is but then thats not my prob… right?)

sunday was spent all day in bed letting the ankle recoup which led to
the KNEES getting hit since i wasn’t walking around and then they both
started feeling better last night when i went to Ada Limon & Jen
Knox’s reading out in willie.burgh, bk. good times in a very
different vibe with mah knees getting better and better (oh yeah- the
ankle also started acting back up)

now, this morning, mah right knee flares up and as the day progresses,
both knees are acting like step.children and the heat element kicks
in…. thats when the gout actually starts producing higher
temperatures in my joints. oh well, i’ll survive (i always do) and
somehow, someway will hobble around tonight for acentos.

fair warning to all: if ya see me pimp limpin’, do NOT make jokes. it
hurts like hell and for some unknown reason there is always one person
that believes it is awesome to make fun of pain. i don’t understand
why but there always is. at that point i either walk away or really
start tearing into the person, usually i walk away. i aint askin that
you pamper me, just let me pass through. ok, that was refreshingly
honest.

latahz, y’all…

a lil mix of the old and the not so old… i am not sure how many answers can be found through these archives… someone already tried though and did a search on “oscar bermeo brother sister”… coincidence? i think not!… anywhos, go for it and don’t worry about the scores as someone i recently met scored real well and someone that i have told a ton of mah secrets to in full confidence almost got the donut

geminipoet.friendtest.com

and as a bonus for reading today’s post- “the forgotten” is a smart movie that three-quarters of the way through forgets its own premise… nice FX though… if you want to experience the true power of your local theaters THX system- go spend the loot… otherwise, wait for DVD… love ya like ya sprinkled fresh parmesan on the popcorn

It is standard operating procedure for me to get abso.f’ing.lutely NO sleep before a flight. The only difference in tonight’s ritual is that at least I don’t have any packing to do.

The crew goes on a college gig to Normal, IL mañana and I am very somewhere in the middle about it all. One would think that I would be a little excited over this but I’m not in much the same ways that I am not totally flat about it either. Pretty much, I hate disappointment (I know- like if anybody really LOVES it) and the only defense I have against it is ambivalence, which I wear like a Crusader’s shield. The positives are that I can do what they need from me (a 15 minute set to recognize Latino Heritage month which starts in the middle of September?!?! What up wit dat, yo?) pretty easily and it is just a matter of tapping the ol’ energy reserves to make it happen. The negatives are that the shield becomes the armor and when the moment hits I can’t separate it from my skin and what began as a defense mechanism morphs into actual instinct.

They also are asking for a radio show appearance (I hope I don’t do the patented “Let’s all try to sound like Louis Reyes Rivera” that we busted out last year… It’s like a myth on our tongues… I am not ashamed to admit this… On the battlefield…) which I have NO idea what we are supposed to be talkin’ about which puts me in my all time favorite position- behind the 8 ball. A Q&A will also be involved regarding the film “Piñero,” a movie that I am so in the middle about. Great part- Benjamin Bratt nails Mikey down even though he is about 8 inches too tall for the role but he makes the script come to f’in life. Sadly, the script doesn’t match up to Bratt’s star power. It minimizes the role of women in the early Nuyo movement and reduces Mikey’s charitable community contributions to a simple “gangstah” like throw of a wad of cash to a bodgea owner.

The best part is that they screen the film the next day so I am in that great position to poison all their minds against it which is just some pure hate sheet and I have been trying to be a good boy lately— emphasis on try.

Alrighty then, it’s almost 2 am in the place where at least one name matters (I expect three of y’all to get that joke) and I am no where closer to sleep then I was before.

(Some time passes)

Ok. I just killed a half an hour putting together a lil quiz for some of y’all. I’ll let the other three or four of ya in it later to see what the initial scores look like.

Off to find another way to stay up.

Love ya like if we were in cruising altitude together…