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one mo time with the blogger ritual- in two hours ima be at johnny o’s in the bronx doing my thing and it looks like a good number of well wishers will be in attendance. i’ve never been comfortable with self-promotion. i can plug the shit out of an event and even an ensemble i am in but for my own personal stuff- nah. normally, i tell a few choice folks and then wait to see what crowd the venue generates cuz, on the real, i hate to be dissapointed.

my very first time reading at 13 i told my friend chris(tina) all about it. me and chris had been hanging hard for the last few months and survived a lot of shit together and when a mutual friend pulled some shit- chris backed me up. it was getting to the point where i was calling her parents “mom and dad” and nobody was batting an eye (except chris- she hated that shit and thats why 99% of the time her parents would play along) so, chris had been seeing all my “break up” poems and all my “there are way too many metaphors in here” poems and was always impressed with my, errr. work leading me to belive that my stage debut would be hot shit. i was right- she jumped up and down and was all hugging me when i told her. “i will SO be there when you go on.”

she wasnt and that was that. my patience for her bullshit (turns out that she precipitated the argument between me and the other friend. a fact i didnt find out about till moths later) became thin and soon enough, as i am prone to do, she slipped thru the cracks of my life.

the female lead in the ‘ceviche’ poem almost did the same shit but luckily for both of us, she didnt and her presence at the inital reading of the poem kick started my “rise” in poetic stock.

i am a lot more mature about all this shit now and i rarely take an adscence badly. if you didnt show- you didnt show. doesnt really matter to me why cuz i dont claim to be the most important thing on the planet. if you promised you would be there- an explanation would be nice but, again, not neccesary. which leads to one of the best feelings in the world- the surprise turn out. when folks just show up without being prompted or anything that feels SO good. last year the louder crew showed up at one of my “poetically incorrect” features unannounced and really made my muthafuckin day.

this time around i hit my e-list HARD and almost 200 people got hit up with announcements plus a couple of listserves. yeah, i havent been doing this for this long and not acquired a pretty good sized database. the way things are going my acentos crew will be in the house and thats all i really need. for me, if an acentos feature brings in 10 of their own people- they did their job and i think that i am going to comfortable hit that number. and, of course, im competing against loudermondays so that will be fun and i am wondering what a night at 13 is gonna be like sans the latino contingent. of course, the acentos crew isnt a race thing and i consider someone like matt siegel a die hard acentos fan and a part of the fam.

ok, ive just gotten five phone calls of folks verifying the address. i feel better and my ‘are people gonna show up’ nerves are calm which leads into my ‘i better do myself and m’people proud’ nerves kicking into gear.

wish me luck, you pretty jibaros!

whew! i think in the fever of my pissed off i dont really get across the fact that the de_burgos tribute was a great night and that i did have a good time.

friday involved some discussion of ideas both through email and person. in the end, everything worked out fine. i heard some things that i didnt want to hear mostly about myself but i was able to absorb it all and think i am the better for it.

then it was off to the nuyo to see bonafide get his ass waxed. that is not a dig on bon but a group of us KNOW that we will not do good at a nuyo slam. some of those someones actually win slams in different venues (not just 13) and thus do not fall into my ‘well i dont win anywhere so why am i making excuses?’ category. (yes, i know i am hung up on the slam.) back to the point, we attack the nuyo like leonidas marching to thermopylae– we know we’re gonna die but living isnt what being a soldier is all about and thus, scoring well isnt what being a poet is all about.

thank gawd there was no line and we had a lil celebrity moment as karen jaime stops her normal flow on the mic, squints and exclaims

“oscar? whats with the beard?!?”

shit like that is good fro the ego, let me tell ya.

fish got some props too and rich was just rich chillin in the corner and then i see fish move into julio’s seat for a second and DAMN! he looks like he was born to be there.

the slam was the slam- bon did well (but not well enough)

“what would you like me to read, o?”

basquiat

(bon gives me that- you know they dont get that shit here- look)

life (un)titled- since you didnt do it at acentos and its one of my favorites

“yeah but how about…”

i finally convince pelo bueno to read it and he scores really well with it

i then get to hear ben porter lewis rip it onstage while chilling next to al letson (who remembers me from WAY back) and everything is cool breeze. some folks are pandering like mad on stage, some are working it out looking for their voice and some people is just who they is and everything is cool breeze.

last night was la feria del beso at wanda ortiz’s mi sala gathering, it was my first sala and it wont be my last. wanda was an awesome host and the night had a cool vice (the fact that they kept wanting people to kiss all night was a bit of a pain but its v-day and sheet) the theme for the next event is mama africa something thats been on this fair skinned, light eyed, if i had it it would be pelo bueno, boys mind a lot lately. a good night for sure but i did catch that “damn, i want to read up there” bug, again. the same one that bit me at the de_burgos center. i got the sickness and i hope that this monday (johnny o’s @ 8pm up in the bronx… come on down!) takes care of it or maybe not. i havent been hungry (in the wanting the mic sense) in a minute and if it means more writing and more poems then let the bug live.

in less than two hours the bowery will look like if banco popular was givin it away to la gente and i will be a part of it. i hope by then i have digested the dulce de leche cheesecake that has me all weighed down.

list of artists that did not get invited to perform at the de burgos center last night (but should have)

Oscar Bermeo

Fish

Edward Garcia

Guy LeCharles Gonzalez

Raymond Daniel Medina

Nina

Bonafide Rojas

Jessica Torres

Rich Villar

yeah… i am shouting out my Acentos peeps but you know this crew right here will give you the most kick ass show possible. they all respect the audience and realize that being on the mic is a privilege and not a right. they all would have donated their time if asked. (there are many more talented names as well but i dont know them well enough to know whether they were invited or not to perform last night)

oh, well. i will take this to mean that there is work to do and that its time to do it. i can also take it as meaning that there may be a secular group of artists that dont give a shit as to whether anyone under the age of thirty-five continues said movement. sad shit- i aint even rican! and here i am on the high pedestal maybe i should hook up with the other ecuadorians and come up with the nuyoecua squad or something…

on to better news- for all those who have asked- i got the job. i am now a duly, truly certified immigrant that has to ask if he can write on the other side of the paper when being asked what he does for a living. and who was a big factor in the whole thing?

that’s right- ed garcia. dude, you are the man! lil known story-

“hey, you ever thought about doing that salsa poem for a slam? you should… its a really good poem” puts his hand on my shoulder “it’s REALLY good.”

yeah, ed was the one who made me think that people would get it and all i can say is– thanks, brah. thanks for that and all the advice you gave me early on and just for being there when nobody else was. after guy left, the whole latino contingent was ed and bonafide. on the up and coming list was me and luis cartagena and we had only these two dudes to look up to on the mic.

i remember swearing that i would find all the lost latino souls at the nuyorican poets cafe and instead i walked into a reading at an NYU dorm.

another (as rich would put it) surreal moment was luis coming up to me one day and asking what i was planning on doing about the lack of latinos. me? who the fuck am i? i stutter through half my words on the mic and get roasted every time i put my name on the slam list… what am i going to do about latinos on the mic? shit, what am i gonna do about ME on the mic?

i kinda actually said all that right back to him cuz i really had no idea what he was referring to. i told him that if all the latinos started getting together maybe something could come out of it… maybe.

ray started becoming more of a regular after that and then fish joined the fold… now, of course, it looks like the bx36 bus made an unscheduled emergency stop at union square. add the bowery and nuyo as well.

and where were all the fabled nuyoricans? who knows. certainly not at the open mics that most folks go to hit when they first jump on the scene. for real not at the mecca of spoken word.

kinda bitter? yeah. shit is different now and a young latina/latino can search the ‘net, as most folks are prone to do, and find a reading where you dont have to explain what the two step is, or the magical medicinal properties of vapor rub or the many ways rice can be cooked or what the ladies in front of the stoop are talking about or what danger means or any of that sheet.

and to all of you cats that were around back in the day. come on down- there’s always room on the open mic.

i am still listening to the synonymus tape. in about two hours i’ll be doing it live. luckily, the hangover is almost all but gone.

the winning formula- 1/2 tumbler of manhattan, 3 coronas, 1/2 glass of white wine. (thank god i wasnt asked to participate in the round of blue ox shots!)

let me point out that eliel lucero had a break through night and his work is growing at a pretty good pace. i will also note that eliel needs to chill with the drinks a bit and realize that his six foot four frame can be a bit cumbersome when it hovers over me. just sayin.

mr (em-are) is another cat whose work just gets stronger and stronger. 2004 is shaping up nicely.

i heard myself on 5_past_13 the other day. holee sheet… do i have to slow down or what? i sound like if i am trying to spit out a car lease commercial. and ot think, after i did that version i was saying to myself- ;the piece is almost home’ almost got farther away with the versions i busted out at semi finals and nats and i am practicing a more pissed off version for the show on monday. when bon did ‘creed of the graffiti writer’ yesterday i was looking at a whole bunch of fresh faces that never had heard the piece and more than once i jumping in myself- ‘but only in self defense’ ‘pronounce you hip-hop-ly dead’

the love/hate with ‘MotB’ isnt over but it still has a ways to go.

the set list is set but i started two new poems today and i hope i can add them to the repertiore by monday.

fish- i think ima do “Capicu” for the Pelo Bueno party. i think its the piece that goes best with the night and rich will of course right something twelve minutes before and still be the star of the night. i also have it almost 100% memorized and i want to see if i can really lose my fool mind in front of what promises to be a VERY rican audience.

by the time most of y’all read this the Econium show ill be history and, methinks, it will make a lil history…

i am soooooo hung over. two consecutive- three hour sleep nights is not good for the soul.

i am pretty harsh when it comes to some other poets and some ther events and it feels almost hypocritical talking about how good acentos is. mucho thanks to the rest of the blogger.tribe for backing up our claims of community & poetry in the bx.

the crowd showed up on latino.time so when i got to the blue ox (early!) i had that oh.shit.i.know.everybody.who.is.heres.last.name feeling but the ox filled up quite nicley by the end. i am still in that mindset whre i would prefer for the ox to be 3/4 full with all ears on as opposed to having it standing room only and people not really paying attention. just having typed that out, i realized that the ox is so tight that it makes randon conversations during a poem almost impossible. at the bowery you can hang all the way in the back and hear the poet clear as day and still be able to have a running commentary without fucking up the show too much. ditto for 13. the nuyo not so much- you have to hit the ‘steve cannon’ corner to be able to talk through somebody’s piece.

i reverted back to the potty mouth host (sorry, fish) for way too much of the open mic and i gotta kepp on top of that. 19 person open mic… again. that speaks volumes for the work that we are doing but i am going to have to get stricter with people. if you show up on time- you got a spot. if you show up late- you’re taking a chance. the one dude i had to turn away was really cool about it so i promised him a slot for the next go around- not everyone is that nice and sometimes you get an asshole that insists on being put on.

many new voices- many appreciative voices- two dudes went out of their way to thank us for making it happen in the bronx. thanks right back, y’all, for coming out. duffy, mr and chris white all returned.

sad note- the ladies on the mic is still slim. thanks to nina, jess and maria for being our core voice and manning the front lines to keep the testosterone in check. shay came by and dropped a piece for her birthday (gracias!) and rain leon made my night by showing up- putting her name on the open list and then telling me ‘ok, i’ll go right a poem for it now’ and the poem was hella-dope. raina may give rich a run for his money as the ‘poem machine’

bonafide is an incredible mix of 12 yr old rock child, 67 yr old griot in training and 26 yr old steven. his set was bookended by the performance/slam pieces that he knows tell great stories and maintain the casual ears attention. stick in the middle his newer work and his more introspective pieces and you have the recipe for a great set that was all smudged up with his jibaro fingerprints all over it.

an impromptu acentos crew meeting followed. the meeting was great in that we all got to be honest in the cold and things were said without malice. ears were open and i listened when i had to and shut my self up at the right times. i was cold as hell when it was over but it helped make the night that much better.

the afterparty was almost as good but rich’s car got vandalized- again! this is when you have to question mad shit- rich goes out of his way to give back to poetry. some mutahfuckas love to show up- drop the knowledge- then break out. rich always tries to give as much back as possible and his reward is this shit.

moments like this really undress me and my ‘i’ll let you talk as i listen’ demeanor gets put to the test when not really much can be said. so we didnt say anything for a while, shared a glass of wine, then i said some shit that i didnt think i was going to say out loud that night. it involved heart break and how i can let go but too many times i wonder if i let go too fast.

confessionals was the order of the night. i had a few folks tell me some things that always seem to be the domain of late night bars and a few drinks to warm up the throat. i was happy to be who i was and feeling lucky to be in the right places at the right time.

i am listening to a tape of last sunday’s synonymus rehersal for tonight’s nuyo event. ray just yelled out ‘what is thsi, broadway?’ as abena is adding her musical inisght and i am about to start the third take on my piece. these jams arent always fun but they always produce good work and i cant wait to see how its going to come out.