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“The consequences that I’ve rendered”

let’s start with the last two mondays…

last week was an interesting version of louderJAM with ray holding it down and hauling his equipment to help out again. i only mention this because i have helped him haul HALF the stuff around a couple of times and know that it is a bitch of a task and the fact that he does it sometimes to help people out for just one(!) poem is really amazing. elana did a fantastic job hosting the open mic and kept all the energy flowing in all the right spots. i busted out “Djembe” ver 3.0 with ray on the 505, ivan on drums and jai

helping out with vocals. using ray was a lil bit of overkill but he needed a guinea pig for sound check purposes and so i gave in… otherwise, the piece went pretty well and it also marked my first time on the 13 open mic in almost three months and that shit is

not going to continue… more latah. heidi young busted out an energetic set maybe too energetic as she was put on late and her always in high gear style left some folks (that were shifting down to second) put off and thus she got back almost no love. a real shame since she always puts a ton of work into her performances and that is something that i can not always say for many ‘top name’ features that i have seen come through

this week was womanEDGE and we had another first time host, syreeta, who also did a fantastic job up there. some think there is no science to hosting but after seeing some bad hosts and me, myself, having done a few bad jobs; i would disagree and say that

hosting is a crazy mix of your proper energy melding with the correct audience and right tone of poets… the science is in keeping it all together when those factors are off. i have hosted the last two Acentos with CRAZY shit on my mind and have had

more than one person who is privy to my personal life comment on how well i looked up there… and that my homies is the science.

the open mic at 13, as of late, has been flush with new peeps and that is always the biggest plus i can put on a night… this one girl dropped the most dopest piece about a ship in a bottle then brought it to strangers sharing a bottle then whipped it to this relationship becoming a sinking ship in the bottle… bananas!

there was something oddly hypnotic about her voice as well which added to the surrealism of the piece. after telling her how tight her poem was i then asked if she could e-mail me a copy. she did one better and gave me the paper she read from with an inscription to me and told me that my compliment was much appreciated since she really likes my work.

well, it’s moments like that that validate all the work that goes into this craziness.

jayme did well with a new poem but then walked off-stage like if she did something wrong. strange since off-mic j is one of the coolest peeps i know and lets lil faze her. told her after that she needs to bring some more of that with her especially when she

approaches and leaves the mic… when i started out good, funny intros were the only thing saving my ass.

mara’s feature was hell-a-dope and she keeps getting stronger up in the spotlight. her uppercase last year had her practically hiding behind the stand and her nuyo feature had her much looser but with some hints of trepidation that were clear to the casual observer… this set had her bust out a musical freestyle to start which took some crazy guts and then she never looked back. i missed most of the interview that GK did cuz i was getting the judges together for the slam with lynne and dawn.

the head to head was pretty one-sided with lynne taking the bout four rounds to one. in my head i has dawn taking the ‘coke classic’ & ‘family poem’ rounds and lynne takin’ the ‘freestyle’ (fuh real), ‘sexy poem’ and ‘anything goes’ rounds.

checked out the Asian American Writers Workshop again this month and i just love that i am such a nobody there. jeanie knows me and the organizers, harry & marc, make a nice fuss and say that they are happy to have someone with some experience up there but the crowd don’t know me for shit and it feels good to win people over on just your words… i have busted out the oldies and goodies up there but next time will try something brand new and see how it goes.

on the poetry front that is about it… on the personal front there is much more going on but i have always kept that this bad boy be a running journal of my poetic experiences and also want it to be something that DRAWS people into the word scene and doesnt make them think its all a big soap opera… which it is but so is your job and your family and your special somebody and your local candy store… so if it is a big soap opera it should be YOUR soap opera and not just one person’s perspective of it all… no matter how connected he appears.

“I’m that cat by the bar toasting to the good life”

Monday– After a week off it was good to see 13 fill up quick and

early. Mondays are all about momentum and even the one week lay off could

severely fuck with attendance. My internet usage is down and that meant

that I couldn’t get the loudNOTES out as fast as aI wanted too and I

was afraid that might fuck things up as well. Good Open Mic with a ton

of new voices. Bonafide had a really tight and well thought set which

only means good things for his feature this Tuesday at Acentos.

The 1-2-3 Slam was aight with most people trying to cram a two minute

poem into a minute (a mistake I did last year) and time penalties

galore. The best part of the whole thing was seeing Jai & Rich Villar

getting a chance to shine. Jai has been a rising star for the last few

months at 13 and with his musical and singing talents coming out at the

recent synonymUS jams, Rich came in second in his very first Slam at 13, a

feat that took me almost 18 months to achieve, and he had quite a few

folks pulling for him to pull out the victory. Best part is that Rich

is really happy with his finish and will probably use it as a great

stepping stone once the Slam season officially kicks in.

Tuesday– My muthafuckin’ brithday! A day I generally let go by

without great fanfare though last year I made a bit of a production about it

and invited everyone to come to 13 for the 1-2-3 Slam, my how the

coincidences line up. Everybody that showed up had a good time and it was

cool introducing my new louder friends to the rest of my homies. Made

it to the second round of that Slam which marked the first time I ever

survived a first round in any Slam but then e(g) asked me to be the

in-between poet for the next round and that marked the first time I ever

felt any extra special love from the louder crew. Back to this year,

after a lazy day off I went with Fish to check out the Open House for the

new Bronx Academy of Letters. Then proceeded to get into a

disagreement with Fish over my lack of speaking time. Fish is hysterical in that

whatever goes wrong is never a big deal, that’s great when things are

small annoyance but frustrating when they are persistent lapses in

judgment. Of course, I think everything is a big deal so we can see mucho

clash developing.

After that we check out DEMOcrazzzy, a VIA production that includes

Lynne & Rog. The show was pretty dope and a great blueprint for what

synonymUS could be one day. I was taking notes like a muthafucka (a habit

I’ve picked up from Lynne & Marty) A good number of NYC poets sent me

some good wishes and a bunch showed up at DEMO couple that with a

cupcake & candle (courtesy of Maria) and mah friends and the VIA folks

singing me ‘Happy Birthday’ and I was one happy mofo.

Wednesday– Unable to secure a new space in time led to the

cancellation of synonymUS’ June show. A real let down but at least it let some

of the crew head to the Blue Ox for Ray’s feature with the BCA. John

Rodriguez was the other featured poet and his set was damn good. Then

the louderCREW was on… Elana doing ‘My Lover’ to CD perfection, GK

with ‘Burst’, Marty reprising ‘Homeland’ (Elana on backup) and then I hit

‘Mery on the Battelfield’ complete with Ray on the 505. The place

freaked the fuck out for all our shit and ‘MotB’ had the crowd already to

start dancing as Ray dropped his set. When he first showed me his list

of poems I was sure it was way too many but Ray went with his instincts

and was right.

Leslie of BCA was extremely happy and plans on continuing the shows

even without funding through the summer. The biggest thing was watching

the louder folks in the corner as Ray’s set was going on. Everybody was

just so damn supportive and it made me real happy to be a part of the

crew and knowing that I have that kinda support as well.

Thursday– Fish says ‘We’re hanging out… just me & you… no

poetry… no distractions’ That shoulda been my first clue in that there are no

more conversations without poetry anymore but I didn’t. He picks me up

after work and as we head towards the Triborough I guess that we are

hitting Salinas, home of the ‘Ceviche’ poem. Hittin the on-ramp to the

BQE I start thinking that this would be a great chance for a surprise

party with all the peeps there but I don’t say anything. We pull up and

there is Guy’s car and I know I’m right as five seconds later…

“Surprise!” Salinas has never been as full as that night with Guy, Salome,

India, Isaac, e(g), Cheryl Boyce, Youlanda, Rich, Maria, Jayme, D-Roy,

Elana, Marty, Seve, Rog, GK, Mara, Lynne, Bonafide, Helen, Ed, Jeannie,

Rachelle, Taylor, Dawn and my Vision crew of Jay, Keith, Miguel and his

new bride Angela all at a big ass table that I have to bust out the

cell for to call Fish. There was ceviche, churasco, Tropical, Manzana,

Inca, platanos, menestra y pescado all over the place and then Eric shows

up. Man, I almost cried right there. A poem by Ray and Gk helped

liven up the event and then the most amazing cake ever (dos besos Maria)

appeared complete with some of my poems written on it!

I have been on a Star Trek type mood with only even number years being

good birthdays and the odd number ones being kinda flat. This year

looked to follow the same pattern but that shit went out the window with

this jam. Maria tells me that at one point she looked around the table

and said ‘Damn, there is so much talent here. It’s just amazing…’ I

agreed, of course ‘… and all here for you.’

I am officially the luckiest leafblower on the planet.

Friday– Back to Rikers but this time with the louder crew. I know, it

seems I cant do shit without them. After losing Ray in Queensboro

Plaza (long story) it boils down to me, Fish, GK, Helen, Lynne, Ed and

Bonafide giving the guys a special showcase. We gave them a great show and

they left there utterly fascinated with the diversity of all our work

and style of performance and also with the ‘perfect poem’ myth

shattered. Poetry is what you make it was the morale of the story and they

fully accepted that lesson. Throw in the two chapbooks that each guy got

and the free books we gave a C.O. who also expressed a ton of interest

and it was mission accomplished for the louderARTS. “We saved some

lives today,” is what I tell Rog later and it’s true… as corny as it

sounds, it’s true. If we pointed just one of them towards writing then we

did a ton of good and that’s what its all about.

A great convo with Bonafide followed as we basically had the louderEDGE

interview he was looking forward to having Monday as we discussed his

work and motivations. I was comfortable enough to share with him what

I did NOT like about his poems and some of my trepidation as a writer

who is much younger in literary experience. The resulting answers and

introspection got us to agree to do it Tuesday for Acentos, which is

really the crowd that should be hearing how a 25 year old Boricua from the

Bronx gets his own book and lands spots on two national slam teams.

What a fuckin week! Mind you, I aint tellin ya about last week’s

synonymUS jam with Mara, Elana, Jai, Ray, Bonafide, Michele, Pete, Matt,

Youlanda & Seve or this week’s jam wich had Lynne rockin out to the

fullest.

Love ya like I baked ya mahself with fresh raspberries, canoli cream,

yellow sponge, homemade buttercream and a marzipan pen on top!

“Makin’ all that noise cause they found new toys.”

-no poetry this last monday cuz of the holiday

–acentos was another great tuesday. michele kotler came down with rachelle, marina, lisa & aracelyis to give us the biggest injection of female energy to date. her feature was tight and her poetry incredibly engaging as she switched up between short, tight work & longer, narratives and personal lyrical pieces. once agin, the shows are just so damn tight and i am very close to getting a national name to show up and that will just put our rep in the stratosphere or at least i hope. the open micers are progressing lovely and all the people i’ve asked have given me good, positive feedback and these are mofois that will say “the show sucked” if it did. i am starting to think more in terms of next year when it comes to the series and already planning on making some moves to branch it out a lil bit more.

lynne: “acentos has been around since january, right?”

me: “nah, we started up in march.”

lynne: “wow! it feels like its been a round forever.”

thats what im talkin’ about!

-the nerd slam at the BPC was in need of a few good nerds and i am going to commit to next years nerd-a-thon. shappy is always gold on the mic and was, of course, a kick ass host. omar backed him up and they had a great chemistry up there with omar having a blast and smiling throughout. still had some good laughs and made the most out of it.

– back to rikers for more poetry workshops. the ride into the island was smooth but i almost lost control of the class going over langston hughes “theme for english b” the class had some more heads and the fellas were taking the analysis of the poem WAY out of hand. it never got real crazy but that was the first time i felt that i wasn’t getting my whole message across. i admitted to fish that i had lost the interest of the fellas and asked him to finish out the last half-hour of the class and then we got interrupted. “gentleman, class is going to be cut short as we have an emergency situation on the island” well, that was that. the guards asked the fellas to go back to their dorms (the cells) and then escorted us out through the underground exit. no one was acting the fool as the c.o.s were cool and the guys were acting like business as usual. i was just glad we got off the island smooth and without incident.

about six members of the louderCREW is supposed to be coming next week to give the fellas a poetry showcase. that should be good and some of the guys will perform their work as well. it’s all thanks to fish who has really taken this program by the horns. i can see this being a permanent louderPROJECT and all it can do is help the organization stay focused on teaching and public service.

– went with fish to check out rob neil over at the nuyo for their last run-off slam. anacaona was also slamming and came within (booming tony brown voice on) two tenths of a point (voice off) from making the nuyo team. an acquaitance of fish, hostage took the slam and his work was pretty good. rob came in last with a second round stumble but he still left a mark and thats the best you can do. got to play scorekeeper and had a ton of fun since i wasnt really *with* any of the slammers so i could be as big a kackass or a big a hatah as i wanted to be. karen jayme is doing a great job hosting and i am hoping to get her up to the bX soon. ended up hanging with dianne and her friend from the new school, tatiana. did someone say ‘latina poet’? the you know i have her on track to calling acentos home. a silly game of scrabble that would have had taylor pullin out his hair and then some talk of the louderARTS. a great night that didnt end till very, very late.

that be it…. catch ya latah

“Don’t care if it’s Chinatown or on Riverside”

Poetically Incorrect had a good turnout this Saturday. Not as packed as I’ve seen it before but pretty good considering the holiday weekend and lousy weather. Debuted a new poem. The crowd reaction was positive even though my voice cracked halfway through.

The nervous jitters are a bitch! On one hand, there are many people that tell me they still get the jitters and I am talking about mofos that have been doing this for five plus years. They claim that when they don’t get the jitters there performance is off and therefore they look forward to that sinking in the stomach feeling. I can relate. When I started to hear the nervousness come out in my voice I upped the volume and added some intensity to make the PeterBrady in my voice. Looks like it worked and coming off stage towards the end of the poem seemed to have worked as well.

The other hand says that anytime you feel like you are about to fall out of a plane with no parachute is BAD. Only thrill seekers with nothing better to do should be in the position that you are in! Running is a perfectly acceptable option and isn’t it the better part of valor and isn’t *that* poetic.

The Open Mic was similar to Acentos’ (we share many of the same regulars) and Henry even gave us a free plug when he was on-stage. {Brief Aside— After Chance outros Henry he re-mentions Acentos and then drops my name as host. Mild applause follows, so I yell out “Clap muthafuckas!” Which makes everyone turn around to notice that I snuck in right as Henry was on-stage! “Clap! You didn’t think I was here did ya? Clap!”) The features were all good. RAC did here entire set while holding baby Holden in her arms! Rob Neil got to go over his set that he is going to drop in Friday at the Nuyo. If he wins, he goes to Nationals but he has to beat the Hebrew Mamita and she has some distinct homefield advantage. Babtunde is this new cat hailing from Nigeria but living in NYC for seven years. His poetry is a diamond in the rough in that he makes a few too many cultural references for my taste but his work has a great narrative feel to it and he sounds like he firmly believes in his politics. Ras is the host of an Arab-American poetry series at Cornelia and his work was brief but strong. Nathan P hosts the Wednesday Slam at the Nuyo and he runs the mic like if its his 80lb little brother. So natural and confident, his work is good even though I am not a fan of rhyming couplets.

I was talking to Rich and Maria afterwards and they invited me to hang. No prob. Youlanda joined our goup and then we trekked all the way to the other side Manhattan to check out “Raising Victor Vargas.” Caught some Thai food at Kai-Kais met Rich’s friend Nikki(sp?) and then casually strolled into the theatre about 10 minutes late. Hey, it’s an independent film about young Latino. How packed could it be? Very! I though we walked into X2 and had to catch seats in the fifth row. The film was a tight story, only lost me for a second and the performances were all very genuine as was the dialogue. As the film ends and the credits roll I start commenting when the star of the movie, Victor Rausk, pops out of the aisle and says that the Q&A will start as soon as the lights go on. Holy Shit! “I am coming her for the next Salma Hayek film!” is all I can say. No wonder the palce was so packed. The Q&A was pretty good with only a few dumb moments which is pretty rare. The dumb moments were “I am an actor, like you…” No dude, he was just on the screen in a critically acclaimed film. You are still hustling. “What pool did you use for that scene?” Huh? What does that have to do with the process? Another trek back across Houston for some slammin(!) ice cream capped off the night.

Only in New York…

“I watch the ripples change their size”

checked out another pepatian show at BAAD. this was my first time at BAAD and the space was dope… straight out of some movie… its in a loft office space warehouse building and its the first thing you hit when you get to the second floor. candles, pictures, statues… all very santero… then you had the dance studio area with a big structure pole in the middle that had all the circuit breakers hooked up to it. the saeting area was this bunch of wooden coaches piled up on tope of each other bleacher style… so f’ing ghetto and thats what makes it all good.

the show itself was very interesting in that they did everything in a shock tv type format… lights off… performer… lights off… performer… no intros and almost no set up from the actual artists… a very cool way to see how good your work is… my mind set has alwasy been this: if you need three minutes to introduce a four minute poem– you wrote it bad… so i really dug the whole flash-in/flash-out format

i wont comment on what i didnt like and just focus on the poets.. which were excellent… the 2 one-woman shows were off-da-hizzy with a great combination of drama and dance… the exerpt of ‘positive women’ (a play of latinas living with AIDS) was great… carlos rice-gonzalez read an exerpt of his fiction with a dancer interperting his words– that shit rocked! and let carlos concentrate on just reading as opposed to the performance he tried to sneak at pregones… gane gabriel is an amazing singer… wanda is both a fabulous artist and a damn funny sketch comedian.. and i may have found another feature for acentos… handed out flyers, of course, made some new friends and may have found a musician to help with synonymUS… that is a damn fine night of entertainment

guy was one of the readers and it was great seeing him outside of 13… especially with his departure from the louderARTS project. interesting times indeed in the future which has suddenly become a bigger part of my thought process… when i was first asked to join the collective and be co-slammaster, eric & fish both asked the same thing “will you be hosting 13?”… “hell no!” was my answer and not because i dont love mondays (i do) its just that my brief hosting stints at synonymUS and some other events let me know that it is hard work being up there… co-hosting ONCE at 13 and acentos have also let me know that it is physically draining at times… now, here i am, a year and a half after walking in the door and a big part of the process that makes louder happen… so weird… last monday, for a minute, i was chillin with j’ai, youlanda and jayme on the couch and was so happy to just be the audience… back to the present and i dont fully understand all the reasons guy has decided to walk away but i do know he has a family and as much as 13 is like a family there is no substitute for the real thing… one day i may write this long ass post as to the fact that guy was the person that helped me take my first steps on the mic and encouraged me to keep coming back… that, to me, is what mondays is all about… the slam will determine who are the best performers… workshops will help the better writers emerge… but the open mic is where people can go and make a statement… they can fail… they can be who they never thought they could be… but they have that chance and that shot… and thats what it should always be about… thats how i started and its something that i wont ever forget

speaking of mics… tonight is poetically incorrect at cornelias… it is a miserable saturday and a holiday weekend… hope they get a good crowd… i know i’ll be paying my eight bucks…i’ll also try a new poem and see what happens… more on that latah

had to miss some events this week… first was poetry hill, a new open mic that chance has a hand in… really feel bad about missing that one but louder business called… then i missed a meeting with the freshstart program, the group that lets me and fish teach at rikers… fish said the meeting was an exercise in repetition, so i guess i’m glad i missed that becuase ihate when mofos go in circles for meetings… also missed my first class with the fellas at rikers… wonder if they missed the class too… fish says this goes on till the middle of july and i wouldnt mind doing all the classes till then… would also be nice if someone could lend a hand and see if they like working with the fellas… when i first volunteered for this program i had some residual regret… other louder stuff was piling up and i thought that this wasnt as important but now i’m glad i did volunteer as this, along with the reading i did at the elderly home, are what i really use to prove that i can wear the title of poet