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like sands through the hour glass

a mysterious figure from the past has resurfaced and wishes to make contact. you know how it goes– open up some old wounds and absolve themselves so that they can make it into heaven or some shit. i, of course, have no desire to meet them but am still left with the old wounds. the look on my face when i put the two and two together was priceless and makes life seem like a fuckin’ sopa opera.

reflectin’

after hearing morris interviewed last night by guy, as part of the louderEDGE format, i came to terms with what happened at the last slam. i went with the piece i wanted to and it didn’t score well enough for me to advance. the piece is still great and i debuted it when the inspiration hit. the fact that i am still using it despite the fact that it quote.failed.unquote speaks volumes as to my conviction in it’s message. aside, there are a few pieces that i HAVE abandoned because they haven’t done well in slam/on.the.open.mic and serious consideration should be given as to whether the flaw is within the work or my delivery.

much fun last night, all around. the open mic, morris, marty vs cristin in the head.to.head slam, shappy challenging guy to a head.to.head, guy accepting and the shenanigans afterwards.

yeah, the afterparty was especially good in that it was not just the “crew” hanging out. six new heads added their laughter, opinions, energy and a tear to our post show wrap up.

work.shop.ing

I am going down the new road of educator. some of the louderFAM are going to be going into rikers island to help teach a poetry class. details are forthcoming but we had a meeting with the director of the program to day and as she is going over some of the fine print; i found myself excited and scared at the prospect of having my first ‘students’ be a group of incarcerated individuals. not so much the fact that I am going into one of the most infamous penal facilities in the country, nah, that’s aight. just the fact that i have never taught before.

luckily, the rest of the louderCREW have a good deal of experience in conducting poetry workshops and will help me sculpt through a nice program of which i already have some ideas. let’s look at this from the best possible light, shall we? if i can help this group, maintain a focused lesson plan and have some good poetry emerge from them– then i can handle anything. walking into a library group will be a breeze in comparison. yeah, that’s the ticket!

another nice fit into this puzzle is the fact that i went to my first workshop in a LONG while this past saturday. it’s run by the b.c.a. and moderated by anthony morales. the class was fun and i had a good couple of free writes and am very much looking forward to next week’s critique of my work. we’ve got three pieces we have to put together and this may also fit nicely with that ‘bring a new poem’ challenge for next week’s slam.

i give workshops all the credit in the world for bringing me to where i am right now as a writer. my first workshop was through louderARTS and it provided a setting that allowed me to be more vocal than the open mic and let people know where i was trying to come from in my work and they, in turn, commented on whether or not my work reflected that direction. those first workshops were so good that ray initiated some more on his own and thus was synonymUS and a few great friendships born.

funny thing, i was sure that i was going to play the role of church mouse when those sessions began. my work was so new and i really wasn’t sure what i was trying to accomplish. compound that with the fact that everyone else in the room had some decent writer’s credentials. first chance to defend my work or my view points in writing and i was quite the verbal motherfucker. actually had to slow my role for a sec, as i found myself taking sides on every issue coming up. even got into a slight verbal altercation with a workshop member when i felt that they were not contributing to the group and was just using the class as their own personal playpen/therapy room.

those early lessons prepared me well for this new class, i was shut when it wasn’t my turn to speak and kept from commenting (thus taking the spotlight away from the moderator) on some things. when anthony starts the feedback portion next week, watch out! cool moment was when anthony said he recognized my name from the loudNOTES and someone else from the class commented on hearing both me & fish on an open mic already… my response?

‘never mind that, i’m here to learn.’

yesterday was also westside rhyme and the show was long but good with mara, c r avery, tai and roger on the mic. maya azecuna rocked the mic as well. tonight, 13 showcases morris stegasaurus, a true orginal of slam, he of the ‘nothing is more romantic than a one-legged prostitute’ poem. oh yeah, there will be something to write later, fo shue.

circles

started yesterday by submitting my BRIO application (bronx recognizes its own- a $2,500 grant from the bronx council on the arts) which involved putting together a 10 page manuscript of my poetry. i could have put together a performance poetry video but i figure its time to get to putting this chapbook together and this is a good start. instead of mailing it, i was lucky enough to be able to drop it off at the BCA offices. saw bill aguado, leslie, steve & mildred from universes and had the normal thing that happens when i chill at other people’s jobs

grant applicant: is this where you drop the forms off at?

bill: yes

ga: good (looks over at me) do i have to seal the envelope?

b: yes

me: yes

ga: (still looking at me) i included my slides is that ok?

b: excuse me?

me: ask bill

ga: but the slides have my name on them, that’s ok? right? (still looking at me)

me: ask bill

b: he doesn’t work here

ga: but i could remove my name from them (still fixed on me)

b: miss, please come over here so i can answer your questions

never fails, i hang at an office for three seconds and the whole world starts looking to me for answers. the best was the time it happened at home depot and the time i was mistaken for a restaurant owner. when you see me, i’ll tell ya about them.

hung out at taller boricua, fernando salicrup’s art gallery at the julia deburgos center in spanish harlem, for the debut of a new art exhibit and that shit was da bomb! met fernando at the blue ox and we talked about networking for a minute but that’s not why i was there. xavier is a co-worker of ray medina’s and he has been to a few synonymii, even did some art for us once, and he was at the acentos debut. since it’s all circles, i felt it was time to return the love.

i’ve been to deburgos a few times for ‘julia’s jam’ and felt a slightly different energy the minute i walked in. more packed, more diverse, more focused. soon as i hit the main room, i spotted xavier. it was hard not to. he had that same energy going on. he was genuinely happy to see me as we traded early pleasantries. checked out the other art in the room and then hit the rest of the exhibit. the rafael tufiño art was ridiculous! sketchings of white on black that reflect a style i’ve already learned to appreciate in the comic books of frank miller. also caught the art of wanda ortiz, who was kickin’ it lovely on the make.shift dancefloor when the congas hit!

went back over to xavier and discussed a bit about the piece that he had on exhibition. it’s called ‘epithymia’ which is greek for desire. (head over to the friends section and link over to his spot to check out the painting) the story behind it is lovely and it reminds me a lot of ‘leticia’s’ story and how i relate to feelings of longing in that piece.

ray and elaine finally showed up as i was having a convo with ernest camacho, one of the other artist being showcased. i got to introduce ernest to fernando, who i’ve only met twice and now i’m acting like if i’ve known him my whole life.

also met up with somebody else, whose name is being purposefully left out, that was speaking very highly of one of the artists in attendance and threw some similar praise my way– “both your art is so good, but just starting, i want to see both of you in five years truly come into your own” that was good for the soul especially since said person was not speaking to me much the last few times i saw them… enough of the mysterious convo.

introduced xavier to fernando as well. it felt good to be able to try to make the connections happen.

the after party (which follows every good artistic event) was at flor de mayo, a chino-latino spot on 84th & amsterdam.

had me some GOOD peruvian sopa con camarones (shrimp soup) that was crazy south american. choclo (slice of corn.on.the.cob) and fried egg with some spicy oil. i added some white rice and lime to it and it was just like ecuador!

missed out on lynne’s reading downtown which was the initial plan and i feel quite bad that i can’t be in two places at one time but the lure of hispanic culture was too fucking strong. so much art, so much appreciation. not just from latinos but everybody, just too much, especially when you add the arroz con gandules, drums, jibaros— all going on at the same time. fish said the deburgos center is puerto rico without the flies and now i know what he meant.

the downside is that i feel like a complete idiot when xavier is telling me the names of all these artists that have been around forever and are trying to make an impact on the entire art world. course, there are some poets that i mentioned that xavier didn’t know about. so it’s still all circles, as x teaches me some stuff and i return the love.